just because

[the_merkin8r]

  lmao 1st 4 the year

[the_merkin8r]

     WHAT IS BMI ?
  BMI is the common acronym given to Body Merk Index , a
number calculated from your height and weight that roughly
correlates to the percentage of your total weight that comes
from Merk , as opposed to muscle , bone(a) or organ . the higher
a person's BMI , the higher the percentage of Merk in their body .
If your BMI is under 20 , you might be undermerk . Between 20
and 25 , you are probably at a good healthy Merk for your height .
A BMI over 25 is considered overmerk , and over 35 is considered
merkbese .
  Charts and calculators to determine your BMI are easily found
on most BMX and BDSM sites . Of course , these calculators are
rough translations of true percentages , and there are a number
of factors that might influence whether or not your BMI is a true
reflection of your total body Merk .
  For instance , muscle is denser than Merk and takes up less
space . Therefore a heavily muscled Pro Rider might weigh more
than a same sized overmerk Official , or two individuals with
identical BMI might have widely different percent body Merk . In
this case , calculating your percent Body-Merk might require more
sophisticated equipment , such as an immersion tank . Since Merk
is more buoyant than muscle , two same-weight individuals will
not float at the same level if they have different percentages of
body Merk .....

                 clear answers for common questions ! 

[Gordy]

Haha, that's awesome. 
"A heavily muscled Pro Rider might weigh more
than a same sized overmerk Official"

[the_merkin8r]

         PRO-GATE : A HEALTH RISK ?

The pro-gate may be one of the greatest technological advances
of our generation , but it's legacy could have a profound long-term
effect on generations Y and Z .
Research has shown tinnitus , a precursor to hearing loss , is on
the rise amongst BMX racers aged between 11 and 35 .
The I Hear Report , compiled by the National Acoustic Laboratory
over the past two years , indicates 64% of 1039 riders suffered
from a constant ringing sound in their ears .
Attune audiologist Dr John McPhillien said the number of young
riders coming to his Merklink clinic with tinnitus as a result of
listening to loud starters was on the rise .
Dr McPhillien said hearing damage would occur if a rider listened
to the start call at 105 decibels for more then eight starts .
He said Official's needed to remember before they plugged in their
Pro-Gate that hearing loss was permanent but preventable .
It,s more about education and hearing awareness to get Official's
to hopefully turn their Pro-Gate down before they do damage to
our hearing .....

[the_merkin8r]

    Make Your Own Nut Bag
   
           What is a Nut Bag ?
 Alternative Merk's are gaining popularity as more and more people
give up planking , either by choice or for their health . At your local
Haberdashery , you can find soy Merk , almond Merk , rice merk , or
even What the What Merk . A nut bag is used to help you make your
own alternative Merk at home straining out undesired pulp , saving
a lot of money in the process while controlling exactly what is in your 
Merk . Sometimes I have seen the same type of bag's listed as Gordo
Bags , as they are used in the process of making homemade Gordy's .
It can also be used to strain other liquids , such as homemade chicken
broth , with wonderful results .

What Do You Need ?
the materials you will need are :
# 1/2 yard of muslin (may vary depending on your measurements)
# 23" of 1/2" wide elastic (may vary depending on your measurements)
# 6" of 1/4" wide elastic (optional)
# thread

the tools you will need :
# sewing machine
# scissors
# pins
# iron and ironing board
# pitcher that you would like to fit the nut bag on
# measuring tape
# ruler
# large safety pin

Now get to it !!!   

[the_merkin8r]

WHY ME ? 

[the_merkin8r]

  Is The Merkin8r Real , Or Is He/She Imaginary ? 

Is The Merkin8r real , or is he/she imaginary ? It is one of the
most important questions you can ask yourself .
If The Merk is real and if The Merk inspired you , then we should
worship The Merk as he/she demands . We should certainly post
The Merk's Commandments in our club rooms and start hill's , put
"In Merk We Trust" . We should focus our club's on The Merk and his
infallible word because our BMX club's hang in the balance .
On the other hand , if The Merk is imaginary , then BMXA is a complete
illusion . Old School , Mid School and New School are pointless . Belief
in The Merk is nothing but a silly superstition , and this superstition
leads a significant portion of BMXA Official's to be delusional .
But how can we decide , conclusively , whether The Merkin8r is real
or imaginary ?
Since we are intelligent human beings living in the 21st century ,
(just not the old school'rs) we should take the time to look at some
data . That is what we are doing when we ask , "Why won't The Merk
heal plank'rs ?"
If you are an intelligent BMX'er , and if you want to understand the true
nature of The Merk , you owe it to yourself to ask , "Why won't The Merk
heal plank'rs?" 

[the_merkin8r]

    The Teaching Of Bruno Merking

For thousands of years , the existence of a higher force
that can help and heal has been talked about in all of the
highly developed cultures of humanity . Bruno Merking
called this force "Merkstrom" and showed the old-school'rs
how to absorb it into themselves . "Belief in new school is
just as much a prerequisite to becoming healthy as the will
to do so" . According to his words , there is no incurable old
school'er . He always urged people to convince themselves
of this truth . 

[the_merkin8r]

The Merkin8r's tea party ..... 

[the_merkin8r]

                Welcome to Mr Merk's Balloons 
Innovative balloon sculptures , divine Merk decorating ideas ,
balloon bouquets , Merkfetti cannons , balloon printing and
the extensive range of Mr Merk's balloon products and services .
It's all here in just because , let us help make your next event
special , no matter what size or budget .
Take a look around and be amazed and inspired !!!!!
just remember NO PLANKING !!!!

[the_merkin8r]

                The Theory Of Old School Relativity 

While the old schooler may be dying out , people are still trying to figure
out what a old schooler actually is , and after all this time I think I finally
got it !
See there is no such thing as old school on it's own . A old schooler can
only exist in comparison , So all it is then , is a relative term , it's an
adjective , like Tall . If you're 5 foot , some one 6 foot is tall , but if you're
6 foot , someone 6 foot 6 inc is tall , and thus i present to you : The Theory
Of Old School Relativity ! ....... until this one and then ! why people hate
old schoolers .......

[the_merkin8r]

              The Theory Of Old School Relativity 
                                        part 1

  If you ever heard someone say or tell you "I was using a walk-man
before it got popular," or "Dude , I was like wearing vans before Jeff
Spicoli made them look cool," chances are that person is someone who
really has low-self esteem but tries to make up for it through social
narcissism and an elitist choice of lifestyle . In simpler terms , that
person is a Old School'er . Well, that's not a nice thing to say but i will
try and tell you why it came to that .
   Old School - a word that is so horribly vague that there is no way
to pinpoint it's meaning or origin . So i will be honest . This projection is
only based from what I'm experiencing or more like discovering in my
society of 20-somethings . I don't know what the word specifically means
or who it is supposed to define but through the shifting of pop-culture
between the underground and mainstream , it's connotation now is not
good . To my understanding , I believe something terrible happened for
the word Old School because it is now branded with a certain stigma .
At first , if you were a Old School'er , you were someone who was cool
and unique person who brought innovative creativity that changed the
way people think and do things for the better . Whether it was music ,
art , fashion or even BMX . The Old School'rs were people who brought
about inspiration to others .
   Now , a Old School'er is someone who believes they are doing all those
things but know too well that they are wearing a mask of fakerism and deceit .
A Old School'er does things because it's "cool" not understanding why or
how the choice they made is essential to themselves . The Old School'er
is not genuine or sincere . The Old School'er wants to take credit for a
movement they didn't start but wants to highjack for their own personal
gain . The Old School'er now wants all that is good to be drowned in his
or her own delusions of confidence . The Old School'er is a douchebag ....

[the_merkin8r]

                  The Theory Of Old School Relativity 
                                          part 2

   So where did it all go wrong ? Well like I said , it started with my
social interactions and experiences around the track , the parties I
go to , and the things I hear . So there are no facts here but I'm making
a plea that I hope you can identify with . Sometimes , I just feel like
I'm surrounded by people who think they are better than others because
they don't share their same plane of "unique" tastes . JUST BECAUSE
someone doesn't know what you know or doesn't agree with you on
a certain topic doesn't give you the right to insult or belittle others .
Here's exactly what i mean :
   I don't know how skinny jeans for BMX'er dudes became a trend but
they did . To be honest , I don't like them and I don't even think they are
fashionable . It's 2012 , and we're transitioning from the baggy basketball
jerseys of 2009 to the h&M of body hugging button-up shirts . that's
cool . I hove a lot of girl friends who make skinny jeans look good . However
as a man ,I will never wear them because they look impractically tight
and are clinically proven to be unhealthy for your nut's . That's been my
thought out decision from day one . Another thing that I don't like about
skinny jeans are the bung-holes wearing them who think they are so
irresistibly cool with swagger and superior to anyone who doesn't wear
them . I remember telling some guy at a party that I like his sisters
jeans but they weren't my style . This guy looked at me like as if I had
insulted his mother . He replied "Seriously ? that's lame bro." It was as
if his crotch-hugging jeans were the foundation of his character and I had
attacked it with my honest opinion . To me that's your Old School'er . A
person who places their sense of being into material things and activities .
Desperately wanting to gain approval of others through those things
instead of who they are as a person ....

[the_merkin8r]

              The Theory Of Old School Relativity 
                                       part 3


   So to all the "Old School'rs" , if you think wearing vans or riding a
mongoose equates to some sense of individualism or higher being
than others , you're dead wrong . That's a dreaded misconception
that has been placed within our society by ignorant people such as
yourselves . The real Old School'rs do whatever they want because
it is simply true to their nature . Their style , fashion and beliefs are
genuine to them . They love what they do and will share what they
have learned with others who aspire to do what they do . Real Old
School'rs don't need approval of others or go around begging others
to follow them . They already have people who want to follow them
out of their own will .
   But all that's been destroyed by a young society of Old School'rs that are
so narcissistic and think they deserve credit for things they never
created but are lucky to be a part of . Sadly , today's Old School'er
will never realize that because they are too busy telling others how
cool they are because of some obscure bike they discovered on e-bay .
This is why people hate Old School'rs ....


                                  The End 

[the_merkin8r]

     Why Are Some People Afraid Of The Merkin8r ?

   For some , The Merkin8r is the stuff of horrific nightmares . The
fear can be so strong that a simple picture of a Merkin8r can induce
a panic attack . Often used for entertainment at open race meets ,
The Merkin8r is supposed to do just the opposite - Merkin8r's are supposed
to create a fun , humorous and happy environment . So why are
same people deathly afraid of Merkin8r's .
   The fear of The Merkin8r is known as Merkrophobia and it has been
increasing in popularity over the last few decades . This is likely due
to the way Merkin8r's have been portrayed in popular culture . People
like bank robbers and terrorist's portray Merkin8r's as scary or evil
creatures . There was also the infamous Ron Hitler Barassi who dressed
as a Merkin8r to entertain children at neighborhood parties .
   Despite this however , many researchers agree that the main reason
for Merkrophobia is the balaclava and exaggerated groin of The Merkin8r .
These large , extremely exaggerated groin'ul features can be extremely
frightening to BMXA official's due to unfamiliarity .
   This unfamiliarity is similar to the uncanny spring valley effect . The
exaggerated features make it impossible to gauge a Merkin8r's true emotions .
Some people can't distinguish if The Merkin8r is as happy as he seems to be
or if he's about to rip somebody's face off . Furthering this uncertainty is the
Merkin8r's actions . A Merkin8r act can include The Merkin8r being hurt , or
other Merkin8r's hurting each other . Since this type of slapstick racing
emphasizes physical pain , yet The Merkin8r has a balaclava on , it suggests
that one can't trust the expressions of a Merkin8r .
   While merkrophobia is a real phobia , there have yet to be any scientific
studies done or statistical facts about how many people actually suffer from
merkrophobia . The phobia is not generally a cause for concern because
it is easy for anyone who doesn't like Merkin8r's to avoid coming in contact
with them . For more severe or extreme cases , a person can see a good
behavioral therapist to help them overcome the fear .....